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English Road Signs Addendum

February 15, 2013

Just a couple months after we traveled to England, Mike’s brother and sister-in-law took their own trip there, mostly to do some ancestry detective work and meet long-lost cousins. They sent a couple more signs to me that I thought I’d share with you.

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It may be a bit hard to read through the fence, but I would love to hear someone explain what “anticlimb paint” is. Apparently this was posted by a children’s playground. Seriously?

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There are just so many ways to interpret this one, but I’m sure the obvious one is the intended request here.

May 1: More Signs!

It took a while, but I finally found time to post more English road signs, these from Mike’s brother and sister-in-law. They found a real treasure trove, don’t you think?

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England’s version of the Dollar Store: Everything’s a pound! Wonder if the quality of the merchandise is as high.

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The bevel of these steps seems pretty obvious, but just in case it wasn’t, the British want you to know!

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I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely got radar for toilets, especially public toilets. But wait! They’ve figured out how to lock my radar?! Crimmeny!

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So my dictionary says a tout is a spy. Apparently the British have a domestic surveillance problem of its own.

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Hm. So I get the “bin” part here. But what are we stubbing and what exactly does that mean? Oh! I get it: It must refer to those little white sticks that the crowd around a doorway like to stick in their mouths. (Sometimes it takes a while to comprehend English road signs.)

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I love this one for the tone. I mean, if you ask nicely, you’re more likely to get people to behave the way you want, aren’t you? It’d be fun to compare the area around this sign with the area around the previous sign to see which is more effective.

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I don’t know where this sign was located, but it doesn’t look like it’s by the airport. So what does it mean? I really have no idea.

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I like this one because everyone expects to see “Mind the gap” signs, so this one has a twist. Besides, the little diagram makes me chuckle.

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Doesn’t everyone feel lifted by a visit to the loo?

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So I can guess what a horsebox is, but wouldn’t a sign that warns about low clearance matter as much for a horsebox as anything else? And how exactly does “for access” restrict anyone in any vehicle?

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I tried to understand the significance of the red cross on the “T” here but got distracted by the cute meerkats. Seriously, who would care about the road sign when you can gaze at those guys?

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At first I noticed that British Gas uses VWs as their vehicle of choice, which works for me, the proud owner of a 2007 Rabbit. But then I read the message on the back window and wonder just how good their workmanship could be if any customer needs “ongoing care.”

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This sign is the counterpart of the “stub it” and “polite notice” ones above: It tells you unequivocably—it doesn’t even bother to ask you—where the cigarette butts belong. And in case you’re in the running for a Darwin Award, it lets you know why they don’t belong on the pier. In the word of Homer Simpson, “Doh!”

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I’m sure there’s a risque joke in here somewhere, what with staying off groynes and all.

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This one has lots going for it: it’s pink, for one. And they’re making no excuses: they’re asking for your old bras! Don’t we American women just hide the old ones in a bag full of sweaters that we drop off at the Salvation Army? Then there’s the line at the bottom, which sounds like something a 15-year-old boy would guffaw over for at least 10 minutes.

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Here’s one spotted in the U.S.A., but it’s a good one.

Thanks to Joe and Luanne for the signs and sharing them!

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